Tom Swifty

OK, I know that this is painful, but come on, they're pretty funny (I've tried to attribute them to the person that made them up. Ones with no designation are my own.):

"The car is about to stall," Tom sputtered. -Cory

"Let's take over," Tom cooed. -Arlynda

"We will have to split up the twins." Tom deduced. -Kristen

"I hate Moby Dick." Tom wailed. - Cory

"I'm going to jump off this cliff!" Tom bluffed. -Kristen

"Her contractions are 5 minutes apart." Tom labored. -Kristen

"The smoke is out of control!" Tom fumed. -Kristen

"Look I can juggle!" Tom gestured. -Kristen

"You don't know how to play billiards!" Tom accused. -Kristen

"This soap hurts my skin." Tom lied. - Cory

"You'll bump your head on the corner." Tom pointed out. -Kristen

"O.K. You can have your apartment back." Tom released. -Kristen

"Should I use a worm or take it off" Tom debated. -Kristen

"There's Gold here!" Tom claimed. -Kristen

"I put new strings on my guitar." Tom recorded. -Kristen

"The sun is coming through the clouds!" Tom beamed. -Kristen

"Keep that dog quiet," Tom barked. -Jefferson

"Oh yeah? Well I'll take you back to court!" Tom retorted. -Jefferson

"No. I think classes should have final exams," Tom protested.

"I could be the one to put out the light," Tom offered.

"This cake needs to be made again," Tom retorted.

"I'm going to tear this vinyl paneling off the exterior of my house," Tom decided.

"These aircraft are all experimental," Tom explains.

"Look! I really am getting boils all over my body!" Tom insisted.

"O.K. the letter P is done with it's part. Time for the next letter!" Tom queued.

"When are you going to get rid of that old horse?" Tom nagged.

"The fastest land animal? I know that one (because I peaked at the answer)." Tom cheated (cheetah-ed).

"That's how we'll get the piece of land," Tom plotted.

"'He saw Bob and me,' not 'Bob and I,'" Tom objected.

"Writing Tom Swifties is called 'Tom Swiftying,'" Tom verbalized.

"My position and momentum are determined by a probability density wave function" Tom sighed (psi-ed, in physics psi is the symbol used for the "wave function").

"Could I go get another Holy Grail?" Tom requested.

"A bird!" Tom chirped.

"I carefully erased everything you had written," Tom described.

"Please, can I have a goldfish?" Tom carped.

"I lost one of my shoes," Tom despaired.

"Gee I'd like a Christmas tree," Tom pined.

"Let's see...gold,gold...frankincense, frankincense...what was the other one?" Tom murmured.

"Lucy, Larry, Lance,. . . there must be a billion people in the world whose names start with the 12th letter of the alphabet," Tom giggled (giga-L-ed).

"They're going to sew my arms back on today," Tom remembered.

"I would like another steak," Tom revealed.

"I need this checked off again," Tom remarked.

"The 2000 presidential election makes an interesting story," Tom recounted.

"This is my second best baseball glove," Tom submitted.

"There is supposedly a cliff over there," Tom alleged.

"A pig!" Tom squealed.

"I'm a crustacean fisher," Tom clamored.

"I made her tardy again," Tom related.

"I phoned him a second time," Tom recalled.

"I'm going back to bed," Tom relayed.

"The doorbell!" Tom chimed.

"I need to get my friends back," Tom realized (re-allies-ed).

"I am going to curb your foul language," Tom discussed.

"I'd like you to get another chorus together," Tom required.

"Look out for the lion!" Tom roared.

"I said 'I till more of this moss into my flower beds every year,' " Tom repeated.

"I saw you parking illegally," Tom cited.

"I'm shedding all of my H's", Tom said (hint: what is shed without the H?).

"I love this party!" Tom raved.

"We can call this one a sug-joke," Tom suggested (sug-jested).

"I do pack extra gloves," Tom admits.

"I'm afraid of mice," Tom squeaked.

"Well, our result would be correct if we took pi to be equal to 3," Tom rationalized.

"You are free to go and to marry him," Tom dismissed.

"You saved my life! You said your name was Jack Mized? Well I will see that you are knighted," Tom surmised (sir Mized).

"I helped Hawaii join the Union," Tom stated.